My middle child

My middle child has a wild streak.  He can be an untamed beast.  But minutes later he is tamed.    He is putting his hand softly in mine and stroking my arm as he lays his head on my shoulder.

My middle child runs, runs, runs and shouts, shouts, shouts....seemingly oblivious to all others but then he stops, he sees a child (or parent or sibling) who may be hurt or in need of a friend and he becomes that friend, he wants to heal that hurt.  He tries to make this child (or parent or sibling) laugh by being silly....he is extremely connected to people.

My middle child did not want to start talking as a toddler, now he is beginning to read and loving it. 

My middle child is quite a peacemaker, he likes to go along with others and play what they want to play.....but if you cross him....watch out folks...he has a short, explosive fuse.

My middle child has "nursed" his pillowcase since I weaned him at a year old but he will bravely stand up to fight his 6'1", 35 year old dad when he starts tickling his mom. 

My middle child loves two things....quality time and eye contact.  I have noticed things such as facebook take me away from doing these two things with him. I have been extremely convicted lately to spend more time doing the two things my middle child loves and less on social media. 

I have been blessed to be spending all sorts of quality time with my middle child lately.  It is his last year fully at home.  Next year he will be off to Kindergarten.  He informs me all the time that he is ready and excited.  I smile, I nod...."yes...you are, but I'm not" I think in my head.

Does the mother bird really want to push her little ones out of the nest?  Does she do it with excitement or sadness?  I am seeing my "little bird" anxious to fly next year and yet I feel not ready yet.  And so I have been more deliberate about spending quality time with him....nap time for the youngest has become quality time for the middle.   Some days we are productive....cleaning, sorting, reading, etc.  Some days we are fun:  snow forts, painting, fort making.  And often we are equal parts lazy/active:  watching Biggest Loser together and doing workouts at the commercials.

We pick up my oldest.  She fills our ears with stories about her day.  Gymnastics at gym class....climbing the rope.  A boy we have been praying for was friendly today (an answer to prayer)and played with her on the playground.  A letter she wrote Isaac telling him she loves him.  She sings a new song for us and gets excited about the oncoming snowstorm and the possibility of no school until she remembers that tomorrow is art day.  "And I want to do a new art project so I hope we can go in the morning".

My middle child's eyes sparkle at her tales of school.  He perches one foot on the edge of the nest.  He starts flexing his wings.  I can see him imagining himself climb the rope, making art projects, sing songs.  I want to grab his arms and hold him back but I, too, get excited for him.  I know that I can be excited for him and also acknowledge that I will miss him every day next year.  I think my biggest fear is the same fear I had 7 years ago when I was pregnant with our first child:  what is being home with one child going to look like?  Now it seems frighteningly quiet.

But it is not next year, not yet.  He is still fully in the nest.  We still have 7 and a half months before our flight.  He will be nervous and ready.  I will be nervous and ready.  I know we will have tough days, just as we do now.  I also know he will be bringing tales home to our youngest that will make his eyes sparkle and get excited for this place called "school"....but not just yet......