Kicking the habit

Day 1:  Felt awesome.  Really dialed into the day and convicted that I not only could kick this habit but that I SHOULD kick it.

Day 2:  Almost automatically went back to my habit.   WITHOUT THINKING.  Reached for it and stopped myself right before I backslid.  Whoa....I thought to myself....this is going to be tougher than I thought.

Day 3:  Busy day.  Didn't think about it all day and then ALMOST cheated at night after Craig went to sleep.  Really?!?!  That is when you know it is a problem. Prayed for God's strength to keep doing the good that I knew I should

Day 4:  Feeling better.  Feeling more peaceful.  Enjoying my quiet times more.  Enjoying my family times more.  Feeling stronger spiritually and emotionally again.

Ok.  So what is my habit?  It is something that I never thought could become a "habit" until I realized one day that I was doing it subconsciously.  I have been on Facebook for 4 years now but in the last 6 months, since we have gotten an Ipad, I have been doing my "quick Facebook checks" more and more regularly. 

Yes.  My habit has been Facebook.  Sounds kind of pathetic but I have checking facebook more and more often.  Now, let me be clear....I don't think Facebook is bad in and of itself HOWEVER I do think the HABIT of Facebook is something I needed to prune from my life.  Just like any other "bad" habit....it can quietly start becoming a focus of your life and your life can start to center on that habit.  When the habit is one like facebook....I don't believe that is what God would have me focus and center my life on.   

 6 months ago we received a wonderful present for Christmas. An Ipad.  I love it.  I can see if I need to check my email, I can check weather easily, stream my favorite Christian radio station, etc AND check facebook with just one click.  I started to limit myself to checking it once in the morning, once at nap, and then once before bed.  But then I would post something so I would go on and check it 20 minutes later to see if people had commented.  I would then check it really quick when I went to the kitchen to get the kids a drink or a snack.  I would definitely bring it to the bathroom with me if I knew it would be more than a one minute stop.  I would have it next to me so I could look at after prayer and devotional time.....so my prayer and devotional time was becoming more of a check in the day and less led by the Spirit.  I was also feeling like I was "sneaking" time with it....not telling my husband if I had just checked it and feeling guilty when I had.  My kids would come in and if I was typing something on it I would hold up a finger...."just a minute" I would say.

Now really...what am I teaching them when I say "just a minute".   I am teaching them that I value looking at posts on facebook more than what they are trying to tell me in that moment.  As a mother, shouldn't it be important when my kids are trying to talk to me?  And, when they are old enough to be on facebook, etc....how do I want them to behave?  Would I tolerate them telling me "just a minute" (that would be a big NO!) So...as a mother.....shouldn't I be modeling the behavior I will expect from my children?

Last week I was wrestling with thinking I had been on it too much when I was listening to a radio station that I stream that asked the question "what do people check 150 times a day".  Answer:  their Iphones.  Really?!?! That seems a little excessive.  I don't do that do I?  Well...I don't have an Iphone because I know I could really be one of those people that do check it constantly but do I check our Ipad constantly at our house?  So I did an observation on myself that day.  I stopped myself everytime I went to "check" something on our Ipad.  I didn't have to keep count.  I already knew it was excessive with the main culprit being Facebook.  That is when I decided I would need to kick the habit.

I have decided to not go "cold turkey".  My friend Kayla did this...she completely shut down her facebook account and I am in awe of her for this.  Just her actions in doing this has encouraged me so much so Kayla....thank you for not being afraid to admit that you were spending too much time on it and not being afraid to shut it down!! I have decided to allow myself a 10-minute check when Craig is home (so someone is there and I will feel more accountable).  I felt like I have enough positive interactions with people and staying connected with old and new friends that right now it doesn't make complete sense to shut it all the way down.  Now, like I told Kayla, if this becomes the alcoholic that "only drinks on the weekends" but then the weekends start on Friday and then after awhile Thursday, then Wednesday, etc.  I will have to shut it down.  But right now, the 10-minute check(which I haven't done every day even) has produced the results I have wanted.

The results I have wanted:
1.  I have been MUCH more "dialed in" to my family during the day.  I hadn't realized how my "quick checks" were beginning to distract me from them and the daily "stuff" that makes up our lives.

2.  Every thing that I do is not a facebook post waiting to happen.  I had started thinking about how I would word this or that in a post when we were doing something.  Come on Sarah:  Stop posting about it and just enjoy living it!!

3.  I feel better about my walk with the Lord.  I hadn't realized that not only was I distracted from my family but I was distracted from God.  My devotional time was "timed" and hollow.  Not as spirit-led.  I feel like I have more time to spend with Him now. 

4.  Feeling better about myself as a person and mother.  Facebook is so awesome to stay connected with friends and family but man....when I was checking it constantly I was starting to feel worse about myself as a person and mother.  I was not always doing cool things or vacationing, etc.  Being on it constantly means it is on your mind constantly and constantly comparing your life to others.  INSTEAD now I am focusing on LIVING the life God wants me to live.  I still like to look and see what others have been up to and "like" or "comment" but not constantly....it should not become a part of my life in such a great way.